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McSweeney’s Internet TendencyMcSweeney’s Internet Tendency Search Internet Tendency The Store Books Division Quarterly Concern The Believer Donate McSweeney’s Internet Tendency Daily humor almost every day since 1998. Daily humor almost every day since 1998. McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free. Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today. Our Latest Post J. D. Vance Imagines a Day in the Life of a Pet-Eating Immigrant “I’ve gained thirty-two pounds since I moved to America. My mom back home says it’s because the pets in America are so ultra-processed. I’m starting to think she’s right. Back home I was slurpin’ two full Pomeranians a day and never broke two hundred pounds.” by Felipe Torres Medina Twelve Post-Birth Abortion Methods Rube Goldberg Execution Machine: Look, there’s too much to explain. Just know that at the end, the putter hits the baby right in the face. by Ryan Wolin Maura Quint’s Presidential Debate Recaps The One with the Tackle and the Bait “Harris smiles and pulls out a fishing rod, ‘I’m going to invite you to attend one of Donald Trump’s rallies.’ she says, baiting the hook with a tiny dangling television tuned to Bravo.” by Maura Quint Lists Our Baby Name Book Acknowledges That There’s More to Life Than Infancy NAMES TO USE WHEN ORDERING AT A COFFEE SHOP TO AVOID THE BARISTA CALLING OUT THE WRONG NAME: Emily Ben Ben Emily Ben by Jordan De Padova and Dan Gutenberg But What If I Don’t Care for Hope and Joy? “Trump obviously prefers the currency of fear and pain and despair. Which is fine, I guess. Everybody has a brand. And it’s not that I love that message per se, but what are we really being offered as a substitute?” by Jeff Drake Trending August 19, 2024 Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056 by Ben Parker, Stephanie Steinbrecher, Kelsey Ronan, John McMurtrie, Sophia DuRose, Rachel Villa, and Amy Sumerton August 30, 2024 New School Year Drop-Off and Pick-Up Rules by Courtney Minick August 23, 2024 We Have Updated Our Children’s Menu Options to Better Reflect What We See Your Children Doing in Our Restaurant by Eddie Small September 11, 2024 Maura Quint’s Presidential Debate Recaps: The One with the Tackle and the Bait by Maura Quint September 9, 2024 A Math Exam, but Obviously Some Stuff Has Happened over the Summer in the Teacher’s Personal Life by Tyler Gooch August 15, 2024 If Tim Walz Is America’s Dad, These Are America’s Other Family Members by Leslie Ylinen Interviews, Essays, and Excerpts September 12, 2024 An Interview with Ayana Mathis, Winner of the First-Ever Gabe Hudson Award by Daniel Gumbiner September 11, 2024 Welcoming Remarks Made at a Literary Reading, 9/25/01 by John Hodgman September 9, 2024 Sorry Not Sorry: BTS, Ronda Rousey, and the Timing of Apologies by Laurence Pevsner September 5, 2024 Short Conversations with Poets: Zoë Hitzig by Jesse Nathan August 29, 2024 Reviews of New Food: Costco Readywise Emergency Food Bucket by Richie Zaborowske August 27, 2024 Been There, Smelled That: Reviving the Aromas of Greek Antiquity by Maggie Downs August 23, 2024 If They Told Me We Were Poor, I Would’ve Pretended to Be Color-Blind by Marcie Alvis Walker News & Announcements Join ScholarMatch for Trivia Night on October 9 at the Cartoon Art Museum for an evening of delicious tacos, tequila, and, of course, lots of pop trivia. Behold the heroes on our Patreon Donor Wall of Fame Visit DAVEEGGERS.NET SUBSCRIBE TO THE TENDENCY SUBSTACK   Subscribe   SIGN UP FOR OUR NEWSLETTER Email Address Sign Up Over in the Store “A key barometer of the literary climate.” —The New York Times Hark. Behold The McSweeney’s Advent Calendar “This novel is a folding chair to the back of the head.” —David James Poissant, author of Lake Life and The Heaven of Animals Winner of the John Newbery Medal. 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